How I Owed Three Beers and a Shot of Rum to a Goddess

November 3, 2022 The Rational Heathen Comments 0 Comment

Well, okay then. You may be wondering about the title on how I lost three beers and a shot of rum to a goddess. No, I didn’t lose a bet, but it sounds like I did. Actually, I won in the grand scheme of things, but the cost of three twelve ounce curls is sort of amusing.

Let me explain.

Hunting Season and Its Insanity

Well, this year we got tags for some of our favorite critters, including antelope or pronghorn. If you’ve ever hunted pronghorn, you know that prayers of desperation can accompany the hunt given how wily and fast those beasts are. Hence three beers and a shot of rum.

For those who have never hunted them, understand that pronghorn are the second fastest land animals on the planet–right behind the infamous cheetah. If you google their speed, you’ll see that American antelope can run up to 61 miles per hour. That’s fucking fast. And they have ways to make sure their off your dinner menu.

Skadi and Beer

So, many of you know that Skadi is my other main go-to god, or in her case, goddess. She’s not as easygoing as Tyr is — at least, not to me. We started our antelope hunt, and sure as shit, she told me she wanted beer if we wanted a successful hunt. Craft beer. Not something beyond ridiculous, but something cool.

Okay, I agreed. We got our first pronghorn. Yay!

Forgotten Promises

Now, I don’t make casual promises, but my memory isn’t always the best. Yeah, I forgot to buy the beer. Mea culpa. I don’t go into town often, and I don’t drink beer. So neither are simple to get where I live. Add that I have a spouse who generally doesn’t drink either. In other words, I do not have much alcohol to offer at home. Hey, I buy cheap, blended red wine for cooking, okay?

So, I come home from going into town to get groceries and I hear the goddess tapping her foot.

Skadi: “Where’s the beer?”

Me: “Uh…”

Skadi: “Seriously?”

A Disaster in the Making

So, our next hunts were a bit of a disaster. We got on antelope three more times and for various reasons, they spooked, the shot was off, or some other problem. It got bad. Really bad.

So, in desperation, I took out a shot of rum from the rum I use to make fruitcake and asked Skadi if she would accept the rum.

She agreed. So, I offered her the rum.

The Next Day…

The next day was the beginning of deer season. My spouse woke me up and told me a buck was on our property. I went out there, and after losing the buck for a bit, found him behind me. I shot and he landed in a place where we could get to him. My spouse, incidently, was late to work helping me dress out the buck.

Our deer hunting went stupidly fast and within three days, we had filled all our deer tags.

“Remember the beer,” Skadi said.

Three Beers and a Shot of Rum

Image by David Greenwood-Haigh from Pixabay

Now, I ended up in the supermarket in the nearby town, looking over the craft beer in the beer section. Luckily craft beers are a thing around here. So, I looked at them, bewildered, until I saw a winter ale with an obvious reference to snow. The goddess said, “yeah, that one!”

It’s an IPA, which if I recall my brewing, makes it more bitter with hops than regular brews. Perfect.

So, Skadi got the shot of rum already and tomorrow she gets three beers. Yeah, I’m hoping for more successful hunts coming up.

…As long as I remember the beer.

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Apps for Heathens

July 18, 2022 The Rational Heathen Comments 0 Comment

Disclaimer: I get absolutely nothing (no compensation) for recommending these apps. These are just apps I have on my tablet and smartphone.

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Yeah, yeah, I know. What could Android apps have to do with Heathenry? Well, my friends, I suspect that the gods have just as much interest in technology as we have. Maybe more. So, the other day, the idea hit me about talking about some Android/Smartphone apps I’ve found interesting, and yes, maybe a bit helpful.

Runic Formulas

I got this image from the Play Store, so you can see the type of runes, bindrunes, and other information they have there. They also allow you to create your own bindrunes with this app. Interesting? Yes. Lots of reference material in this. I’ll probably be looking at this app for a while. If you’re not handy with bindrunes, it has ready-made bindrunes for you. Free (with ads) or pay (without ads).

Rune Divination — Runic Tarot

Although I despise the Runes being called Tarot, I found this little app to be quite useful. I think that anyone who is learning the runes will find this app handy, and it’s easier to bring on trips than your actual runes. (And if you don’t have runestones, that’s okay!)

This app was designed by the same person/group as the Runic Formulas app, and it has a similar feel.

It does do inverses (I don’t) and I believe it has a blank rune if you want it (NOT), but despite that, it is useful. Free (with ads) or pay (without ads).

The Havamal App

I like this app. You can either go through the Havamal by sections, from front to back, or have the app pick out a stanza for today. A nice way to have the Havamal handy.

Learn Old Norse

I thought this was an interesting app to try out. It has lessons and texts so that you can learn the basics of Old Norse and then build up your vocabulary with the challenges. A lot of it is dry, but you may find this app useful, especially when paired with videos on learning Old Norse.

Duolingo

I really can’t talk about good apps without telling you about Duolingo, if you haven’t used it yet. It is a language app that really is the best one out there in my not so humble opinion. Duolingo doesn’t have a lot when it comes to ancient languages, but if you want to learn German, Norwegian, Irish, or Gaelic, you’re in luck. I’ve been learning on Duolingo for two years in my spare time and it works. I love it. It has both paid and free learning. The paid gives you some perks and no ads.

So, there are other apps I use, but these are pretty cool. Check them out and let me know what you think.

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A huge thank you to Sarah Keene and Roland Lock for making this post possible! They are my patrons on Patreon.

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Omicron Blues, or Fuck the Antivaxxers

January 19, 2022 The Rational Heathen Comments 4 comments

Did I just say “fuck the antivaxxers?” You betcha. Because Omicron isn’t just a letter of the Greek alphabet. It’s also what I have.

The Rational Heathen Gets a Greek Letter

Despite all my vaccinations/boosters, I knew it was just a matter of time before COVID-19 showed up on my doorstep. My spouse deals with the public, which means no matter how much masking and handwashing, he was bound to get this contagion. Lucky for us (I guess), it is Omicron and not Delta.

Omicron Most Likely

I presume it’s Omicron because it’s “mild,” although I might argue that “mild” is relative to “in the hospital and intubated.” My spouse could barely get in to see our doctor–forget the county testing and other sites. They’re backed up. The doctor didn’t have enough appointments to see me too, so when the test came back positive, the doctor said I had it as well and treat it the same. Our instructions were explicit: 10 day quaratine and don’t go to the hospital unless you’re damn near dying.

In other words, suffer at home.

I’m Beginning to Hate Greek Letters

In all fairness, I guessed my spouse had it even before he took the test. I also knew that I was exposed to it via him, so I was screwed. It proved to be Omicron in symptoms, which means I’ve had next to no energy to do much, let alone write.

I have no fever. I have had nasal congestion, ear congestion, attempts at congestion in my lungs, pink phlegm, exhaustion, coughing, joint and muscle aches, night sweats, chills, and little appetite. Right now, it feels like a really bad cold that will not go away. I eat not because I’m hungry, but because I know I’ll get sicker if I don’t. Half the time I can’t tell if the room is cold or hot. My internal sense of temperature is fucked up.

Dried Herbs, or Quit Fucking Around

As a semi-knowledgable herbalist, you’d think I’d grab whatever dried shit I concocted and douse myself with it. Nope. Nope. Nope. I’ve ignored the ancestors’ meds and went straight to Tylenol, Musinex, and whatever else makes sense. My brain fog is real, which means I can’t even ponder what might make me feel better in the herbal realm. Instead, I’ve relied on 21st Century medicine, because that’s how I roll.

I’ve written a lot about how we modern folks wouldn’t be able to handle the conditions of a millenium ago. Our ancestors were damn lucky to live to 50, if that. Seeing as I am past that age, (aka “older than dirt”), I’m pretty much guessing I’d be plant food if I had to live at that time.

Right Now, Not Feeling Particularly Charitable

Right now, I’m pretty angry at the morons who are antivaxxers. They are serving as cesspools in the world’s largest petri dish and you can pretty much bet that these variants use them to multiply and mutate. The fact we’re seeing COVID-19 change so rapidly is because of antivaxxers’ unwillingness to step up and get a vaccination. Sure, the disease mutates in animals and even in those who have breakthrough infections, but this wouldn’t spread so rapidly had there been fewer unvaccinated people.

So, I blame them for my misery. And, if you want the truth, I know I’m a whiner because I’m at least not dead yet. Not like the more than three quarters of a million Americans. Or however many have been hospitalized (or are hospitalized). And yeah, I have the mild form with two shots and the booster which has made me whine. Gods know, I don’t fucking want the full-on crap.

Just an Update

So, this post is more or less to tell you all that I’m sick, but not dead yet. My health is improving, but it’s still slow. Probably will have this bullshit longer than two weeks at this rate. (I’m on day 9, I think.) I will come up with better posts when I am feeling better.

Thanks for hanging in there with me. Stay safe, get vaccinated, and wear your mask.

Shit! The Runes DO Work

October 21, 2021 The Rational Heathen Comments 2 comments

Fucking freaky. Occasionally the Runes remind me I’m not just screwing around. Like the time when I asked them who was guiding me with the runes and they spelled out Thor’s name and gave me Tyr’s rune.

The Beginning…or Why I Consulted the Runes

The gods know I could use help. My pagan series has been going along just fine, but money is always something I need. This is how they decided to help me, and the rune reading associated with it.

Some Background

As you may know, I read a lot of pagan and nontheist blogs. After reading another pagan’s blog, I was reminded I need to provide more consistent offerings. So, I chose the thing that is near and dear to my heart: tea. The gods gets the first cup in the morning, or when I refresh the tea leaves, once weekly. Preferably on Tuesday, because Tyr.

Weekly Offerings

I’m still new at this regular offering thing, but with the exception of providing the offering a day late, and the little matter of my spouse using the offering bowl for salsa (ahem), it seems to be going okay. I pretty much just offer the tea. No pleas for the winning lotto ticket, or anything like that. Oh, maybe a thank you for keeping us relatively healthy, and a generic, “please keep us safe” kind of thing. I don’t do ceremonies or make lofty speeches. I figure they know what I need probably better than I do.

Email Out of the Ether

So, a few days ago, I got an email from a publisher. That makes me sound much more important than I am, so don’t be too impressed. Anyway, a publisher wanted me to work on a project provided that their Powers-That-Be approved the proposal. It’s an update of some work I did more than fifteen years ago.

Where’s the Work?

So, I panicked because I had no idea where the original work ran off to after so many years and computer deaths. All I can say is thank the gods for PC Mover. Despite me not wanting to move everything to my new computer, that’s what it did. Again. And again. And again. The original documents were on my hard drive, passed along from computer generation to computer generation. Which means I have copies on at least four hard drives. And now, Dropbox.

Consulting the Runes

At this stage, I was somewhat ambivalent about what I should do. My pagan urban fantasy series is going well, and even my spouse thinks it’s time for me to focus on it. But…the amount I could bring in for four months of Hel might be worth it. I suspect that the work offer had to do with my offerings, but I wasn’t sure. I needed to consult the runes. Big time.

My Reading — I Shit You Not

First Rune: Matter Under Consideration: Ansuz

Ansuz means message, writing, and language. Sometimes from the gods.

Second Rune: What will affect the matter. Either positive or negative: Gebo

Gebo means gift and partnership. Something given in exchange for a partnership. Business or personal.

Third Rune: Upcoming elements. Outcome: Eihwaz

Eihwaz is a rune of defense, protection. Can be associated with good outcomes. I stared at the first two runes and wondered about Eihwaz. It suggests that I need to go carefully into this. But it is likely to be positive.

I asked for clarification and pulled the rune Uruz.

Uruz is strength, but it can also mean upheaval in some ways. Yeah, taking this project on will definitely change things. But again Uruz is usually a good sign for me.

Why I Got Freaked Out

When it comes to the first two runes, the reading was spot on. I mean it’s about a writing project and a partnership. The Eihwaz simply tells me to be careful, which I know, dealing with publishers. For someone who reads the runes, having the runes spell out what was going on was freaky. It’s almost as if the gods said, “look you skeptic, we’re going to make this ridiculously clear so even you can understand.” In other words, every time I try going agnostic, a god hits me over the head with reality. Sheesh. You think I’d learn.

Then, Eihwaz

I was about to leave this on a positive note, but then the publisher decided to lowball me. Well, Eihwaz is once again spot on. So, I don’t know. But I do know the runes work, when asking questions that are important. I’ve occasionally got a garbled mess when I’m unfocused, but often it has to do with another matter that is more pressing in my life. So, I wait and see. Maybe they come back with a sane offer, maybe not. Maybe the gods just wanted to remind me not to be agnostic.

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When the Muse is a Bitch, or Writing Myself into a Corner

February 27, 2021 The Rational Heathen Comments 0 Comment

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Did You Just Hear from Other Gods?

May 21, 2019 The Rational Heathen Comments 0 Comment

Although Tyr is my main god, sometimes other gods step into my life in a big way. It’s not uncommon for me to hear from Loki, Skadi, Thor, and Freyja, but lately Freyr has been making himself known. It’s not that Tyr isn’t important–it’s just that Freyr needs to assert himself in my life. If you’ve ever had one god step into your life If you’ve ever had one god step into your life that wasn’t there before, you may be wondering why other gods and goddesses pop in and out of one’s life at various times. I want to address why and how to work in the new god or goddess into your life.

Our Gods Strengths

Our gods are very good at what they do. Naturally, because they’re gods. But with few exceptions, they’re very good at what they’re known for and not as good outside those areas. For example, although there are many strong gods, Thor is the strongest and the most feared. At the same time, while he’s not stupid, he’s not the most clever god of the Aesir. So, if you want help from an intellectual god, Thor probably wouldn’t be your first choice to help. You might go to him if he is your main god or if you are more familiar with him, but he may act as an intermediary between you and Odin or whomever.

Tyr’s Help

Tyr is the god of law. He’s an incredibly powerful god who gets few acknowledgments other than losing his hand to Fenrir to keep the wolf bound. My own UPG has determined that he’s not only the god of human laws, but also of the Universe. Meaning that while Odin and his brothers created the world, we have Tyr to thank for the laws of physics. Our universe makes sense thanks to Tyr. His laws govern our entire existence and the world around us. That makes him a pretty damn powerful god in my book.

But even though Tyr presides over an awful lot, he doesn’t deal with certain areas that are more human-related, such as growing crops, husbandry, hunting, and wealth. When I need advice or help in my life, Tyr will often refer me to another god, whose purview it is. Sometimes that god will just show up on my figurative doorstep and offer counsel. Hence, my surprise having Freyr show up and advise me.

Good Allies to Have

Freyr is a good ally to have. He’s the son of Njǫrd, which makes him a god of prosperity, something I could use right now. Since Njǫrd is the god of wealth and the sea, Freyr has it “in” with his father. Given that the Northern peoples relied heavily on the sea for trade and raiding, it’s little wonder an ocean god would also be considered a god of wealth.

If you have a problem that is outside of your god’s or goddess’s expertise, you should still ask them for help. Chances are, they may send you to other gods who are more familiar with the situation you are in. You may have a another god or goddess work with you on a particular problem, having had your main god make the introductions. Listen to the god who has more experience in your situation and meditate on whether it is good advice. Some gods, like Loki, are well-meaning, but can give terrible advice. Others may simply give good advice but you’re just not ready to hear it or use it. Nevertheless, thank the god or goddess and make an offering to them. Keep their image or a token of what reminds you of them on your altar and be sure to include them in blots.

Sometimes the newcomer isn’t a god but a wight. The same advice holds true here. They may be good allies to have or they may not be in your best interest at this time. Still, respect the wight and give it offerings. After all. they came to help you at the request of your main god.

Pay Attention

One thing to keep in mind is to pay attention to what the new god or wight has to say, even if they simply show up on your doorstep unannounced. Maybe you don’t have a problem that needs their expertise–yet. Maybe they know something you don’t and are there to help you through something which will be going on in your life. Still, other gods simply show up uninvited because you’ve piqued their interest for some reason.

Talk to your main god(s) and/or goddess(es) and find out if this will be beneficial or not. Some gods and wights you don’t want visiting for a myriad of reasons. If this is a god or wight whom your main god doesn’t want you to talk to, you’ll have to make a choice. If your main deities have not steered you wrong, you should politely thank the god or wight for their offer and refer them to the gods you have a better rapport with. However, if your main deities aren’t helping you, tread carefully because you don’t need an annoyed god on top of everything else. You may have to at least listen to the newcomer and see if his advice is sound. Talk to your gods and see if there’s a problem with going a different direction. Chances are, if your original gods aren’t helping, they’ll be glad to have you work with a newcomer.

This is just my advice, and as I often say YMMV or Your Mileage May Vary. Let me know what you think in the comments. Thanks!

Five Reasons Why Heathens Should Not Own Goats

March 29, 2018 The Rational Heathen Comments 0 Comment

After another exhausting day of handling baby goats, I’ve decided that any Heathen who gets goats isn’t right in the head (including myself). For this reason, I submit the Five Reasons Why Heathens Should Not Own Goats. Ready? Let’s begin… [Read More of this Premium Content, and Unlock All My Premium Content, for Just $1]