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Month: July 2017

Vikings in Oklahoma, and Other Oddities

Vikings in Oklahoma, and Other Oddities

Several years ago a friend of mine told me about a runestone found in Oklahoma.  I laughed.  No, he insisted, it really did exist.  So like most skeptics I ignored it as another Piltdown man hoax.  But I never forgot his insistence that Vikings may have traveled to Oklahoma, among other places.  So when I stumbled across a listing of purported Viking runes and artifacts, I couldn’t help but think it would make an interesting post at some point.  Well, my eager readers, today is the day.

Where We Know the Vikings Did Show Up 

Few archaeologists will argue that Vikings didn’t land in North America, and set up colonies, but few would actually claim that they headed farther south than the runestones seem to suggest.  We know that there was a Viking settlement at L’Anse aux Meadows, and recently there has been another discovery at Point Rosee, some 370 miles away from the first confirmed site.  

How Tough Would It Have Been for Vikings to Travel Inland?

If Point Rosee is a Viking settlement site (jury is still out on it, but I suspect it probably is), how tough would it have been for the Vikings to head a bit more south? I’m hesitant to say that it’d be easy, because it certainly would not have been. But the Vikings were masters at travel, and if anyone could’ve navigated uncharted territory, it would have been them.  But North America is sizable, and it would take extraordinary people to accomplish this, even among Vikings.  Still, people with no more than their feet have traveled across North America in prehistoric times.

Let’s Get to the “Evidence,” Shall We? 

I placed the word “evidence” in quotes because, quite honestly, it’s hard to establish these as real and not elaborate hoaxes.  In many cases, science has dismissed certain “Norse artifacts” when data proves that they are anything but.   So let’s look at three pieces of allegedly Viking artifacts.

The Newport Tower in Rhode Island

If I could point to one thing that is sketchy when it comes to Norse artifacts, it would be the Newport Tower in Rhode Island. Proponents claim that Norse built it somewhere between the 11th century and the 14th century.  Most scholars consider it a windmill and not a tower built by the Norse (when did the Vikings ever have this type of architecture anyway?)  This was originally proposed by Danish archaeologist Carl Christian Rafn in 1837.
Others have expanded on the theory, but carbon dating places its age at the mid-17th century.  Still, there are those who purport that it is some antiquated tower and not a windmill (most experts believe it is a windmill), saying that it was built in the 15th century, underwent a fire, and then was rebuilt in the 17th century.

Despite the various arguments, I’m going to have to go with the establishment and call this one as a windmill and not a special tower.  Certainly nothing that the Vikings would ever construct.

The Kensington Runestone

The Kensington Runestone is a more interesting find.  There’s some debate about it, but the general consensus is that it’s a hoax. However, there are some interesting points to be made why it might be authentic.

The runestone was purportedly “found” by Olof Ohman, a Swedish immigrant who lived near Kensingon, Minnesota. He was digging up the roots of a poplar (or aspen, depending on what account you read) on his farm, and allegedly found it with the roots growing around it. It’s 3 feet long, 16 inches wide, and 6 inches deep.

Now, being the suspicious type, reading about a Swedish person uncovering runes seems a little odd to begin with. The red flags went up with that one.  Anyway for those interested, the runes translate as follows:

“Eight Geats and twenty-two Norwegians on an exploration journey from Vinland to the west. We had camp by two skerries one day’s journey north from this stone. We were [out] to fish one day. After we came home [we] found ten men red of blood and dead. AVM (Ave Virgo Maria) save [us] from evil.”
“[We] have ten men by the sea to look after our ships, fourteen days’ travel from this island. [In the] year 1362.”  — Source, Wikipedia.

Now, this sounds really cool, doesn’t it? There was a group of Norse explorers led by Paul Knutsson sent by King Magnus Eriksson of Sweden and Norway into the west. But there aren’t any records whether they truly embarked on their mission.  If they did go, they never returned.  So, it’s a possible link.

Swedish linguists pronounced the piece as a fake due to wording that did not exist in the Swedish lexicon until the 16th century.  The runes, too, seem to be a mix of old and newer runes that would not have been used in the 14th century.  That being said, other linguists have challenged that, saying that the usage could be a variation due to regional dialects.  Still, many linguists do claim that this stone is most likely a hoax by Ohman and others who live in Kensington.

What do I think?  I think it is most likely a fake, especially when other definite hoax runestones were found in the area.  From my own experience, aspen trees only live about 15-20 years and those poplars near where the stone was found were no more than 40 years old.  The Swedish written on the stone was closer to 19th century than 14th century, thus making it most likely a hoax.  Still, if it’s real, it’s a cool piece.  By the way, it has its own museum in Alexandria, Minnesota, so you can check it out.

The Heavener Runestone

The last piece of alleged “Viking artifacts” I’ll be talking about comes from Oklahoma, where, oddly, there are quite a number of found runestones, most considered to be fakes due to the lack of weathering on them. That being said, the Heavener Runestone is the most famous of the lot.  Made famous by Gloria Farley in the 1950s, the rock had been called “Indian Rock” for more than 100 years because people believed that it had been carved by Native Americans. The runestone is 12 feet tall, 10 feet wide, and 16 inches thick.   It is now a state park, and whether it is really a runestone from Viking explorers or not, it is at least preserved for all to see in a building that was built around it.  Scholars have argued over the translation of either “Gnome dal” or “Glome dal,” meaning either “sundial” or “Glome’s Valley,” depending on which translation you choose. It is thought it may be a boundary marker and may be as old as the 7th century.  

The problem with the Heavener Runestone is that it is just one piece of evidence that doesn’t seem to have any other archaeological evidence to back it up. We don’t know what the carver meant when he or she chiseled the runes into the rock and we don’t have any written account of there being Vikings in this land. Also, we don’t have any other finds that would suggest that the Vikings rowed their ships down the Arkansas River to carve this stone, other than the stones that experts consider to be carved sometime in the 19th or 20th centuries.

A Lewis and Clark Comparison (Stay with me on this)

All that being said, I’d like to compare this to a 19th expedition that did happen, that is the Lewis and Clark Expedition of 1804 to 1806.  We know it happened because of all the written records.  Plus, while there is no one alive who remembers that expedition, there were people who knew about, talked about it to others, and wrote about it.  Despite all that we know about the expedition, the only archaeological evidence of the expedition was at a place called Traveler’s Rest in Lolo, Montana

Suppose for a moment that nothing was written down about the expedition.  That there was pretty much no documentation. Then the only evidence that Thomas Jefferson sent men out to explore the Louisiana Purchase would’ve been the archaeological evidence at Traveler’s Rest. Assuming the US boundaries of the time, would we assume that people traveling from the states somehow ended up in Montana without any other evidence?  We might say “Possible but not probable.” 

So What Does the Rational Heathen Think?

 It’s an interesting intellectual exercise.  After all, if we haven’t uncovered evidence from two centuries ago, it’s unlikely we would uncover much from Viking visitors from 1000 years or more ago, given the long distances and the mode of travel. But at the same time, the Heavener Stone doesn’t seem to have many experts on its side accepting that it could be legitimate. In 2015, a Nordic linguist from Uppsala University visited the Heavener Stone and said that it was most likely a 19th century creation, but gave a 20 percent chance that it might be from the 10th or 11th centuries. However, there were many issues with the stone, including lack of ornamentation, problems with it linguistically, and the little issue of a problem with the timeline.

If there were any artifacts that had a chance of being authentic, I’d say it is probably the Heavener, but I think it is more likely to be something written in the modern era. Still, as I said, it’s interesting to think about and it is certainly something worth considering.

I hope you enjoyed this piece.  If you’d like to see more of these types of posts, give me a shout and subscribe to my premium channel for just $1.  You’ll get some cool swag if you join up, including wallpapers, a free ebook, and get access to all my premium posts. I even have levels where you can sign up for a free rune readings once a month.  Plus, I’ll be able to get a podcast up and running with enough support.  Cool, eh?  Thanks for checking this out.

When the Muse is a Bitch, or Why You Really Didn’t Want to Live in the Viking Age: Dentistry

When the Muse is a Bitch, or Why You Really Didn’t Want to Live in the Viking Age: Dentistry

Well, the piece on Viking lifespans got me looking at all sorts of interesting stuff. One interesting paper was about the teeth of Viking Age Icelanders.  The researcher made some conclusions that I’d love to share and give my overall impression on it… [READ MORE FOR JUST $1]

Like this blog?  Want more goodness from The Rational Heathen?  Did you know you can subscribe to my premium feed for just $1?  You can unlock a free eBook, wallpapers, and the inside scoop of When the Muse is a Bitch, for just $1.  What are you waiting for?  Subscribe today at my Premium Feed!

Choosing a God or Goddess from the Northern Pantheons

Choosing a God or Goddess from the Northern Pantheons

If you’re new to Heathenry (or even if you aren’t), maybe you’re wondering which gods and/or goddesses are your main go-to deities, or (dare I say it?) patron deities. I’ve been reading some blogs about this and I figured, as the Rational Heathen, I’d weigh in on the subject.  As usual, your mileage may vary (YMMV) and any advice I give may not fit your circumstance.

But I Already Have a God/Goddess!

If you’re a newly arrived Heathen, chances are you’ve chosen one of the more media-prominent gods/goddesses such as Odin, Thor, Loki, or Freyja. That’s all well and good, but they aren’t the only ones out there, and they may not fit you.  Also, they’re not a “I’m substituting Odin for the Christian god”-type of gods. Odin isn’t the only creator-god, nor is he entirely benevolent. All the gods have their dark sides, just like human beings. But they also have their good sides, which can be wondrous and amazing when you are on the receiving end.

If you’re a Heathen with some years in Heathenry, you may have found a god/goddess that you like, but maybe are looking for more than one go-to god, or maybe you just don’t feel the fit is right.  After all, there’s a reason why we’re polytheistic, and not monotheistic, right?  All of these are good reasons to explore the pantheon and see if there is another god or goddess whom we can add to our altars.

My Own Experience

Long time readers will know that I didn’t choose becoming a Heathen.  Rather, I got pulled in by Tyr and Thor.  While Tyr is my main god, I have several gods and goddesses I show respect to including Thor, Freyr, Freyja, Skadi, Odin, Zisa, and, oddly enough, Loki.  But they didn’t just show up all at once and talk to me.  No.  As a matter of fact, some, like Skadi, were very cool to me (pun intended). Skadi and I did have a bit of an introductory period.  I had known her years before I became a Heathen, but it is my experience that she doesn’t always come knocking on your door the way other gods and goddesses may do. Freyr did not approach me, either.  I simply opened myself to him.  So, I do have some experience choosing new gods and goddesses.

How Should I Discover a New God/Goddess?

Unless your experience is similar to mine, you’ll probably be charting your own course, so to speak. Finding a new god/goddess may be difficult if you don’t have a god grab you by the scruff of the neck and shout, “You’re Mine!”  (This can be a really disconcerting time in your life, if this does happen.) If you’re looking for a deity, you should first do your homework and find out what you can about each god.  Learn what you can from the myths and Eddas.  Does any one appeal to you in some fashion?

The downside to research is that we don’t know as much about certain gods and goddesses within our pantheon.  Yes, we know quite a bit about the main players, but there’s a lot of guess-and-by-golly when it comes to less-known gods.  Also note that there are some gods who cross over ethnic groups and have different names, but are essentially the same god. Thor comes to mind. He’s Thorr in Norse culture, Thunor in Anglo-Saxon culture, and Donar in German culture. But he’s also Perun in Slavic culture, Perkunas in Baltic culture, and Perendi in Albanian culture. If you’re culturally close to those who worshiped the northern gods, you may want to see if there are gods within your ancestors’ cultures that fit, or seem to resonate with you.

Mediation is immensely helpful in this search. You may hear one or more god or goddess as you practice mindfulness meditation.  In this case, feel free to explore the communication.  You don’t have to choose the god who shows up, but chances are there’s a reason they choose to talk with you while you were receptive.  Be cautious, too, during mediation.  You’re receptive to more than just the gods.  Avoid those that give you bad feelings or harmful requests.  Believe it or not, there are spirits that do take delight on waylaying people.

You’ll have to choose by what feels right.  This isn’t a particularly rational suggestion, but religion is seldom rational in nature. In the end, you must trust you gut-feelings and maybe you’ll get rewarded for your efforts with a UPG or maybe even some communication.

Avoid Popular and Simple Explanations for Deities

I hate to be the party-pooper on this, but the gods aren’t the Marvel heroes. If you’ve been drawn to Heathenism because of the Marvel tropes, that’s okay, but don’t expect Thor, Loki, and Odin to be much like the comic characters.  These are gods who have many dimensions to their personalities, and although we have limited writings about them–many of them colored by Christianity–enough of us have had UPGs to the point where we’ve seen other aspects of the gods.

For example, Freyja isn’t just the goddess of war and sex, (although she is that, too).  She has a very complex role as a goddess.  She takes half the fallen before Odin, thus probably taking the best warriors.  She is a strong goddess who fights, but is still very feminine. She is the goddess of the Seidr, and may be linked to Frigga as the wife of Odin.  She is certainly the most powerful of the goddesses. Your dealings with her may bring certain insights into her personality that you would never find in popular culture.

What About Other Pantheons?

Should you mix and match gods and goddesses from other unrelated pantheons?  What if Freyja and Bast appeal to you?  What if you worship Jupiter, Heimdall, and Wu Xi?  What if you have altars to Christ and Odin? 

Seriously?

Some Heathens will call you out on this as being Wiccan and not Heathen.  They may even give you the sarcastic name of “Wiccatru” for your efforts. Even I am a little taken aback by the mixes. (It’s really not the same as mixing some Eurasian religions with our Norse gods because they’re alike in a lot of ways.) I’m somewhat hesitant to say “yes, you can,” because I don’t have a warm feeling about mixing very different religions.  That being said, if you truly feel the calling between two different gods from two different pantheons, who in the Hel am I to tell you what you should do?

However, some religions by their very nature aren’t up to the task of “Mix-N-Match” gods. Our gods couldn’t care any less who or what you worship, but the Christian, Jewish, and Muslim god isn’t keen on other gods in the playbook. Something about “Thou shall not have other gods before me…” springs to mind here.  While I don’t believe in that god, I do believe that the followers would have something to say about it.  And seeing as the words are in their holy text to not worship any other gods, it seems disingenuous to worship a Judaeo-Christian god and a Norse god.  But again, that’s your business.

I hope I’ve given you some ideas about the gods and how to start your journey into finding a god or goddess you have a special connection with.


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When the Muse is a Bitch, or Heat Waves, Earthquakes, and Other Disasters

When the Muse is a Bitch, or Heat Waves, Earthquakes, and Other Disasters

Freyr and Summer.  Some days, I get the feeling that the god of summer isn’t always kind, even though the dealings I’ve had with Freyr have always been positive. I’m going to be talking about the danger of this time of year and how I see it from a Heathen perspective… 

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You Wouldn’t Survive the Viking Age, so Let’s Not Go Back

You Wouldn’t Survive the Viking Age, so Let’s Not Go Back

It’s easy to look at a previous time in history and think it would be the perfect time for you to live in.  But honestly, you wouldn’t survive the Viking Era, so don’t try to recreate it. I know there’s a bunch of you out there who are crying “Bullshit!” You’re pounding your chests and announcing that you could survive it.

Well, kiddos, you are so wrong.  And I’m here to prove it.  Read on, MacDuff…

Why We Are So Screwed if a Time Machine Sent Us Back

We think a lot about the halcyon days of  our ancestors.  How things were simple.  How people lived together in kindreds for protection.  Some of us has romanticized it enough to the point where we not only try to study the past, but we try to reconstruct and live in it.

Stupid idea.

Could You Survive in the Viking Age?

Let me ask you some questions, and we’ll see how well you do on this.  Be honest.

  1. Have you had the common cold, flu, or diarrhea and never during your lifetime took modern day medications of any sort, nor received any modern medical treatments?
  2. Do you have a chronic condition (asthma, arthritis, migraines, high blood pressure, diabetes, Crone’s, allergies, Lyme disease, depression, etc) and have never had treatment for it nor taken any medications for it?
  3. Have you never used toothpaste and have you never visited a dentist?
  4. Have you ever broken any bones (other than fingers and toes) and not received treatment?
  5. Have you ever had cancer, malaria, the plague, tuberculosis, hantavirus, or typhoid, and never received treatment for them?
  6. Have you ever cut yourself deeply and not used bandages and antibiotic ointments?
  7. Have you never used antibiotics?
  8. Have you never been vaccinated or treated for a disease medically?
  9. Are you older than 120 years?

If you’ve answered “no” to all of the above, congrats!  You would probably not survive in the Viking Age.  If you’ve answered “no” to most of the questions, you probably would not survive in the Viking Age. If you’ve answered “no” to one of those questions, you probably would not survive in the Viking Age.

If you live in a Western country and answer “yes” to any of those questions (with maybe the exception of #4) I call bullshit, and say you’re a liar. (Especially #9, unless you happen to be the  Doctor.)  Sorry kids, but chances are you’ve had some sort of wondrous medicine that goes beyond the medical knowledge of the 9th century.

Healthcare was Crude, at Best

Most doctors during that time were women. There isn’t a lot written about basic medicine, and almost nothing about the types of herbs used. Most wounds had ointment applied to them and bound with some sort of linen bandages.  The real nasty wounds were cauterized with hot metal.  Infection was rampant. Chances are if you didn’t die in battle, you’d be meeting Hel in Helheim after you died from infection.

Disease killed children, and one in three would not reach adulthood because of it and other factors. (More later.)

Very little is written about childbirth, but we can assume given the frightening percentage of fatalities I mention later, that a fair portion of women died while giving birth.  This may explain why more men reached “old age” than women.

How Long Did People Live Back Then?

I’d like to say people were tougher back then.  Whether through luck or genetics, our ancestors survived the Darwin crap shoot and managed to procreate before the meanness of the times caught up with them.  Because nearly one third of all Viking children would not make it to adulthood, it meant you had a one in three chance of dying, usually from exotic Viking things like disease, famine, and malnutrition.

Now, let’s say you were a young man and managed to make it to adulthood (our version of adulthood at age 21).  By the time you were thirty, assuming you weren’t one of the casualties, you’d find that half the men you knew of your age (50 percent) were dead.  If you were a young woman, you fared a little better, losing more than another third (35 percent) to disease, warfare, and childbirth.  Women who managed to live to 41 through 50, would see almost half (45 percent) mortality.  And by that time, 80 percent of all males who would have been in those age brackets were already dead.

Old Age 

If you’re a Millennial, you may be thinking that old age is greater than 50.

Fuck you.

I say that with all sincerity because I am older than dirt, by your reckoning.  But you’d be correct in the Viking Age when people generally didn’t make it past 50.  Only 5 percent of women and maybe 7 percent of men died then.  That means you had a 95 percent chance of dying before you were 51, if you were a woman, and a 93 percent chance of dying before you were 51 if you were a man in that era.

If you think that 50 is old, it’s because you’re young now.  Bad news: the years fly by fast and you’ll be a 50 year old wondering what in the Hel happened to the 20 year old you were.  To quote Pink Floyd:

“You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.”

Time, Pink Floyd, David Gilmour & Richard Wright

 I haven’t even gotten into the caste system that our ancestors had.  That is a discussion for another day. So, I can say that you probably would be dead by the time you’re the age you are now. 

So, don’t wish you were there.


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Thoughts on America and Who Discovered It

Thoughts on America and Who Discovered It

To all my fellow Heathen Americans, I wish you all a happy Fourth of July/American Independence

Day.  (For those outside of the US, I’ll admit I’m American-centric.  Deal with it and enjoy the Fourth.)

I’ve been doing some research about America and our Viking roots, and I’ll be talking about a bunch of different subjects over the next few posts.  Why?  Because I can.

Who “Discovered” America?

If you’re of my generation (talkin’ about my g-g-generation…), chances are you were told Columbus discovered America, and that Leif Erikson may have landed on our shores, but naught came of it.  Columbus was the true hero because he opened the door to the New World for Europeans.  <sarcasm> Never mind those pesky “savages” who lived here for thousands of years. </sarcasm>

When I was old enough to reevaluate what I learned in school, I thought it odd that an entire group of indigenous people were pretty much left high and dry on the “discovery” portion.  I get that our history is largely American/European-centric, since Columbus’ discovery really was the beginnings of the modern colonization of the West.  I won’t get into the whole exploitation of indigenous people, partially because there is plenty of blame to go around in just about any culture when it comes to exploitation, but largely because that’s not what this post is about.

We can say that with Columbus “discovering” the New World, it opened the door for colonization on an unprecedented scale. Although Leif Erikson did indeed “discover” Vinland, and the Norse did have at least one colony at L’Anse auxMeadows, and possibly more, the Norse were without gunpowder and were too few against the indigenous population. I suspect the colonization of the Americas happened not because the Europeans were wiser or had the Christian god on their side, but rather, because by the 13th Century, gunpowder was being used in Europe. (Never mind the Marco Polo connection–but that’s for another day.)

It Wasn’t Leif Erikson?

It’s tempting to say that Leif Erikson was the first European who “discovered” the New World, but that could be very wrong.  He certainly wasn’t the first human to discover it. We know that humans came across the Bering land bridge at somewhere around 13,500 years ago from Asia to the New World.  Scientist think a few thousand people managed to get in on the ground floor before the ocean rescinded its offer.

Beringa, or the Bering land bridge, appeared sometime just as the Last Glacial Maximum was ending.

During a couple of thousand years, human migrated across the land bridge before the glaciers had melted enough to finally submerge it. People, being the resourceful hominids that they are, found the New World to their liking and stayed.  Or perhaps when the ocean finally reclaimed Beringa, they discovered there was no going back. These are indeed the first discoverers of the New World, according to modern theories about how humans got here.

However, there is the possibility that people showed up some 20,000 years ago from Europe during one of the Ice Ages when much of the world’s water was locked up in ice.  Called the Solutrean Hypothesis, it’s considered controversial because most archaeologists believe that the Americas were devoid of humans until 13,500 years ago.

Solutrean tools

Solutreans and their Tools

The Solutreans were a group of Stone Age peoples who lived in Europe. The claim is that the Clovis people were actually Solutreans who came from France at that time.  There are similar tools in France that look like Clovis points. The 20,000 years ago marker was arrived at when a stone ax was dredged up along with mastodon bones in the ocean off of Virginia’s east coast. Solutrean proponents claim that the ax and bones were linked and the bones were found to be 20,000 years old.  A carved mammoth tusk in Florida which dates to 13,000 to 20,000 years might also be of Solutrean design.

The hypothesis also focused on genetic similarities, that being haplogroup X, a mitochondrial DNA that mutated from haplogroup N.  This haplogroup is present in about 7 percent of Europeans and 3 percent of Native Americans.  However, there are other haplogroups present that might have come from Europe via Siberia.  In fact, Native Americans have mtDNA from five different haplogroups, all which can be found in Asia, doesn’t help the Solutrean argument.  And the haplogroup X might just be a leftover from hundreds of years ago due to intermarriage between Europeans and Native Americans.

So, What Does That Leave Us With?

Clovis points

We know that humans got to the Americas through the land bridge.  That’s been pretty much established. Whether they were the first humans to discover the New World is up for debate. There is sketchy evidence, at best, but it’s hard to prove a negative and say definitively they were not there. Most scientists stick with the migration after the Last Glacial Maximum because the evidence supports it.  Could there have been a crossing from Europe to the Americas?  Maybe.

I’m not going to say it happened or it didn’t, because I just don’t know.  It is an intriguing idea, certainly, because humans are infinitely adaptable and are capable of moving around damn near everywhere.  One thing we can be certain of is that today is the American Independence Day, and you need to be careful if you’re lighting off fireworks.  So have a safe and happy Fourth of July.


Like this blog?  Want more goodness from The Rational Heathen?  Did you know you can subscribe to my premium feed for just $1?  You can unlock a free eBook, wallpapers, and the inside scoop of When the Muse is a Bitch, for just $1.  What are you waiting for?  Subscribe today at my Premium Feed!