How I Owed Three Beers and a Shot of Rum to a Goddess
Well, okay then. You may be wondering about the title on how I lost three beers and a shot of rum to a goddess. No, I didn’t lose a bet, but it sounds like I did. Actually, I won in the grand scheme of things, but the cost of three twelve ounce curls is sort of amusing.
Let me explain.
Hunting Season and Its Insanity
Well, this year we got tags for some of our favorite critters, including antelope or pronghorn. If you’ve ever hunted pronghorn, you know that prayers of desperation can accompany the hunt given how wily and fast those beasts are. Hence three beers and a shot of rum.
For those who have never hunted them, understand that pronghorn are the second fastest land animals on the planet–right behind the infamous cheetah. If you google their speed, you’ll see that American antelope can run up to 61 miles per hour. That’s fucking fast. And they have ways to make sure their off your dinner menu.
Skadi and Beer
So, many of you know that Skadi is my other main go-to god, or in her case, goddess. She’s not as easygoing as Tyr is — at least, not to me. We started our antelope hunt, and sure as shit, she told me she wanted beer if we wanted a successful hunt. Craft beer. Not something beyond ridiculous, but something cool.
Okay, I agreed. We got our first pronghorn. Yay!
Forgotten Promises
Now, I don’t make casual promises, but my memory isn’t always the best. Yeah, I forgot to buy the beer. Mea culpa. I don’t go into town often, and I don’t drink beer. So neither are simple to get where I live. Add that I have a spouse who generally doesn’t drink either. In other words, I do not have much alcohol to offer at home. Hey, I buy cheap, blended red wine for cooking, okay?
So, I come home from going into town to get groceries and I hear the goddess tapping her foot.
Skadi: “Where’s the beer?”
Me: “Uh…”
Skadi: “Seriously?”
A Disaster in the Making
So, our next hunts were a bit of a disaster. We got on antelope three more times and for various reasons, they spooked, the shot was off, or some other problem. It got bad. Really bad.
So, in desperation, I took out a shot of rum from the rum I use to make fruitcake and asked Skadi if she would accept the rum.
She agreed. So, I offered her the rum.
The Next Day…
The next day was the beginning of deer season. My spouse woke me up and told me a buck was on our property. I went out there, and after losing the buck for a bit, found him behind me. I shot and he landed in a place where we could get to him. My spouse, incidently, was late to work helping me dress out the buck.
Our deer hunting went stupidly fast and within three days, we had filled all our deer tags.
“Remember the beer,” Skadi said.
Three Beers and a Shot of Rum
Now, I ended up in the supermarket in the nearby town, looking over the craft beer in the beer section. Luckily craft beers are a thing around here. So, I looked at them, bewildered, until I saw a winter ale with an obvious reference to snow. The goddess said, “yeah, that one!”
It’s an IPA, which if I recall my brewing, makes it more bitter with hops than regular brews. Perfect.
So, Skadi got the shot of rum already and tomorrow she gets three beers. Yeah, I’m hoping for more successful hunts coming up.
…As long as I remember the beer.
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You’ve been in a religion for some time. Or perhaps you’ve not been in a religion at all. Maybe it is Christianity; maybe it is another pagan religion. Perhaps you’ve been agnostic or even atheist. Or maybe you’re a Heathen like I am. Regardless, now you’re looking at a calling and…it’s not a god or goddess you follow. What do you do?
If you’re a Christian or someone who have been in the Abrahamic religions, this is often a complete shock. Same goes for atheists, who are more likely to think they’ve gone crazy hearing from a god or goddess. Depending on your religious upbringing, you may think the deity is some form of demon coming to tempt you away from the “One True God.” If you fall for the Yahweh argument, you’ll never get anywhere with this. Instead, you’ll turn down a potential positive and more personal relationship with the gods than you ever had with the god of the monotheistic cults.
You’ve gotten a call from a deity. Before you get all starry-eyed, think about what you’re committing yourself to. Is this god or goddess asking you to do something against your morals or against the law? Are they looking at having you harm someone or yourself? If the answer is yes, then say no and walk away. Take the high road here. Don’t be like Abraham who was asked to sacrifice his only son as a burnt offering because apparently Yahweh gets his rocks off watching humans squirm, even though he is supposedly omniscient and omnipotent. What was the purpose of THAT mindfuck? Tell me that. Don’t say to prove loyalty, because an omniscient and omnipotent god would already know the outcome.
the Hel out of them and get a good feeling for who they are. Talk to priests or priestesses of that religion and get their take on your contact. Be aware that you may not have been contacted by a god, but by an ancestor, a wight, or some other denizen looking to make contact. When you do finally establish contact, find out what they want. If what they want isn’t against your moral code or the law, then you have to decide if you want them in your life. (If it is against your moral code or the law, run like Hel.) Above all, keep your head when this all occurs. You may have to step gracefully out of the relationship. Lastly, even if the god or goddess isn’t from your pantheon, you should still accept the contact if it is a favorable one. After all, the deity thought enough about you to visit.