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Yeah, Well, I’m not into “Frith”

Yeah, Well, I’m not into “Frith”

“Frith” and “Troth.”  If you hang around with Heathens and Asatruans, inevitably you hear those words.  Those silly, archaic, bizarre words.  Every time I see those words, I want to roll my eyes and sigh.  Or laugh.  Or puke.  Or something.  It’s not that I disagree with the concepts, per se, I just have a tough time with silly archaics.

And I know at least two “dead” languages.

What the Fuck is Frith and Troth?

First, I need to get the definitions out of the way to ensure the recon rabble will find something to argue or poke fun about.  So, let’s look at frith.  My understanding is that it is tied to the “inner yard” or Innangarth which makes up the kindred.  If you look it up under Wikipedia (and you recons are welcome to fix their definitions, by the way), it points out a state of peace that has to do with relationships. Frith encompasses fealty to lords as well.  Basically, it is peace that occurs to those who belong to a certain unit, let’s say “family.” But family is more like The Godfather’s family — extended and has those who must swear loyalty of some variety. When you’re offered sanctuary, that’s frith working.  Got it?

Troth is loyalty and truth.  If you look up the word in Merriam-Webster’s, you’ll see loyalty or pledged faithfulness.  Basically, it’s an archaic term for “truth” or “oath,” depending on its context.

So Why the Fuck do I Have a Problem with them?

Other than the names and usage instead of modern English, you probably are wondering what is wrong with using them today.  Glad you asked that.  I’m going to address the whole Innangarth/Utanngarth and the concept of frith (crap, I keep typing “firth” because my mind and fingers rebel against this silly word.)  Basically, the idea comes down to an early form of feudalism that we got away from a long time ago. 

Frithering Heights

Let’s talk frith.  Back in the olden days, you had to have scores of relatives, friends, and whomever else in your Inner-yard because, quite frankly, the world was a dangerous place (it’s still dangerous, but not quite that level in Western societies) and if you didn’t have allies close at hand, you had everything taken from you by force.  Warfare was common back then, and it was the equivalent of living in street gangs, but without police to really turn to.  It’s no surprise that I likened the Inner-yard to the Mafia in the Godfather.  Hels Bells, where do you think the Sicilians learned this behavior?  Try the Norse and the Normans. There’s a reason why there are red and blond Sicilians.

“But Tyra,” you say, “we’re using frith to mean a safe space for our family and friends.”  I would argue that that’s fine, but be aware it is much different than the historical frithering something or other.  Yes, it can evolve over time — I’m not as pedantic as some — but change the term.  Tell us what it is.  “Safety,” “Safe space,” or whatever.  You’re using an anachronistic word here.

Frith, like many things, is conceptually an attractive idea, but in the end really offers a lot up for abuse of power.  People swear fealty to that particular lord and support him.  Peace (lack of warfare) occurs between members, though there are always disagreements.  Basically, you trade your loyalty for protection.  Feudalism, to sum it up succinctly. 

I grew up in a Frith-type household.  It sucked.  Not because of any physical abuse (although I could make the case for verbal abuse), but because there were things you never went to the Utanngarth over.  And quite honestly, there should have been more Outer-Yard interaction.  There were too many “secrets” that shouldn’t have been, and too many issues that later on caused problems that could have been addressed early on and avoided.

By the way, the Heathens of old weren’t the only ones who had the concept of Inner/Outer-Yard.  That concept is alive and well with the Japanese and other Asian ethnicities. In fact, the Japanese have one set of words for family members that are only used among family members versus a more formal set of words for “outsiders.” In many ways, Heathen culture mimics Japanese culture and Shinto: concept of inner/outer yard, ancestor worship, local kami/wight worship, female sun goddess, highly ritualized ceremonies with drink, warrior class which required fealty for protection, thegns/daimyo…I could go on and on.

I can see Frith being used as an excuse to hide addictions, sexual abuse, law breaking, and other terrible things, because it’s all too easy to insist on loyalty for “protection.”  Look at how feudalism was abused.  Look, our ancestors thought it sucked enough to get rid of it.  Now, I can hear the recons arguing with me on this.  Guess what?  I don’t give a shit.  The fact that it CAN be abused, suggests it WILL be abused.  Power, my friend, corrupts.

What About Troth?

Being a follower of Tyr, I do have some thoughts about Troth. You may guess by my crazy blog posts I tend to be a little on the brutally honest side.  Being honest and forthright is best, In My Not So Humble Opinion (IMNSHO), but I am quick to avoid oaths.  Oaths are solemn things, and yes, the gods will hold you accountable to them. So, swearing loyalty, except maybe in marriage, scares the bejesus (heh!) out of me.  Fail that oath, and you’re dealing with an ugly situation both here and in the afterlife, such as it may be.  Plus pledging Troth to anyone in terms of fealty, takes us right into the (not so) good-old-days of feudalism.

So, Where does that Leave us?

By now, I can feel all the recon rage.  Look, I really don’t care if you frither and troth all you want. I get the concepts, and I get you want to go back to the Bad Old Days.  Or maybe you think you can do a better job incorporating them into your family, kith and kin. Far be it from me to tell you how to live your life, as long as it doesn’t affect me. I’m not saying don’t respect your elders, and don’t respect your family, but families aren’t perfect, and no matter how much you’d like your Hof, Kindred, or whatever you call your group to be, to be perfect, it isn’t going to be that way.

I’d argue too that our Inner-Yard versus Outer-Yard has grown substantially. One could make the argument that our Inner-Yard encompasses our community, our state, or even our nation.  I haven’t gone so far as to say it encompasses our world, but maybe if we discover other life forms, that might be a real possibility.  (Someday, I’m going to write something about if Thor is on other planets, but this post is long enough.)

Anyway, use frith and troth around me, and I’ll laugh.  If for the silliness of the words, if nothing else.

The Gods are Not Your Bitches

The Gods are Not Your Bitches

It’s nice to see someone in the pagan community agree with me, even though they said it nicer than I did.  The gods, whether you think of them as people or metaphors, don’t necessarily jump when you ask them to jump.  They don’t necessarily do things because you whined at them.  And they certainly aren’t our bitches who show up because we called to them.

Connecting with Gods

Connecting with the gods is a personal thing, In My Not So Humble Opinion (IMNSHO), and each connection is as different as it is for each individual to be different.  How you related to one god isn’t necessarily how I relate to him.  I think it has to do with who we are and how we got to this point. Tyr, for example, doesn’t really pop in, raid the refrigerator, and open up a bottle of mead on the counter at my house.   If he does at your house, please tell me.  I’d be mighty curious about that.  I’d be surprised.  (Now, if it were Loki, I’d expect that.) Some folks claim to have real life experiences.  I’ve only had one, and that made me question my sanity.  (Meeting Odin on the street — seriously.)

It’s not my place to tell you how to connect with gods, but I might offer some advice: They aren’t your bitches, and most aren’t interested in you unless you bring something to the table.  Occasionally, a few of us hear the call and say “what the fuck?” That happened to me, but I realize that having such experiences can be uncommon, not the rule when it comes to the gods.

My Own (Limited) Experience

I think the gods tend to be a bit more mindful about our pasts when we “connect” with them. As a follower of Tyr, he’s my main go-to god for just about everything.  That being said, sometimes I realize that other gods are more suitable to my petitions, but I really don’t know them that well.

Tyr knows I have a lot of baggage from religion and childhood. If I have a fault, it is I lean pretty heavily on him from time to time. It’s mostly just moral support, but occasionally it’s a “I need this” kind of request.  Yeah, it comes from growing up Roman Catholic and being shoved into the “pray to god to help you” mentality.  Realistically, I know that Tyr is not the god for that sort of thing, but when I have shit raining down, he gets an earful.  Because I look at him like a friend.  Sometimes I just get a sympathetic ear and not much more. Sometimes I get help.  Sometimes another god pops into my life because he or she is better at helping me.  If anything, I now have five gods/goddesses that I offer blots and talk to.

That’s how I relate to the gods.  I wasn’t looking to go back to being a theist, so I kind of have the opinion that because they found me, they knew what kind of package they were picking up.  Lately, when I bemoaned not being able to talk to the wights with someone who actually does a fair amount of work with them, I learned some things and actually got some positive things happen.  Okay, so I’m a bit agnostic on them still, but they’re included.  And I get a more positive feeling from them.

Why We Demand Help

I often talk about Christianity, mainly because I can’t get away from my Christian upbringing.  If you were raised Heathen, Pagan, or with another religion that wasn’t derived from the Abrahamic religions, you probably don’t have the same reliance that many who have left those faiths have to their gods. We’ve been spoon fed a pack of lies since we could understand words. It’s not our parents’ faults, per se, they’ve been as brainwashed as we have since their childhood. There’s a good reason for them to teach us Christianity’s teachings, too. The fear of their hell and eternal torment makes even the toughest guy in the room quake.

So, we’re taught very early on that god will provide. That god will care for us. That everything will work out to god’s plan.  And when stuff goes our way, we praise god.  When shit happens — and it does happen to good people, and even the best followers of the Christian god — we tell ourselves that it was god’s plan, or maybe they weren’t really that good.  Because a kind and just god wouldn’t allow that to happen, would he?

So, we beg for good things to happen to us.  That we get that raise, get accepted to that school, get a job, find a significant other, heal someone or ourselves, or win the lottery. The reality is that unless we get off our butts and do something, it’s unlikely we’re going to see positive results.  That’s where that old saying “god helps those who help themselves” most likely got started.  Well, whether you should maybe claim it as a god’s victory is questionable.  I’d argue that every victory is your own, and if the gods help you out, you should be thankful for their aid, but you’re the one who really made it happen.

The Gods are Not Our Bitches

If we look at the gods as strictly archetypes or metaphors for the universe that surrounds us, we can pretty much deduce they don’t need us, although we’re already heavily reliant on them.  We rely on Sif and Freyr for growing things, Thor for our thunderstorms (i.e. rain), Sunna for our light, Mani for more than just a shining orb above us at night, but may have had to do with actual life, Tyr for our laws, both human made and natural, Odin for our creation, and so forth.  My point is we rely on them for a lot already, so calling them down to aid us, especially when we have no rapport with them, seems a little self centered.  If we consider them entities, so much more so.

If you have a relationship with a god or gods, chances are you already know your boundaries. If you’re looking for help and you only have relationship with one or two gods, maybe they’re the first should hear your plea and then see what they say.  Other gods most likely need some type of introduction and probably a pretty decent relationship before one can ask for things from them.

When we understand that they’re entities (or at least metaphors) with their own agendas, we can see that our gods aren’t the Christian vending machine that our society has come to expect.

Intelligent Design and the Heathen

Intelligent Design and the Heathen

Now it’s time to me go after the Intelligent Design folk.  Because basically, it annoys me.

The Set Up — Or Why I’ve Gone Off on a Rant Today…

A friend of mine on Facebook actually posted the gravity waves from two black holes swallowing each other up some billion years ago were translated into sound as C major was proof of the Christian god and also proof of intelligent design.  I almost made some sort of snide comment such as “Odin did an okay job, but if he really wanted to get our attention it should’ve belted out Beethoven’s 5th…”  But I didn’t, mainly because I still value the friendship enough to not be my normally snide self.   But I probably dinged the relationship a bit by calling bullshit.  Yeah, that just happens if you know me.

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Some Recommendations to Those Starting Out in Heathenry

Some Recommendations to Those Starting Out in Heathenry

I had a nice chat with a young man who has felt the pull of heathenry.  He’s an interesting person who isn’t of the traditional northern ethnicity and some things I said on this blog he felt that he could relate to.  I heard this from another reader, which suggests maybe the gods are looking for some folks with a little more brains–who are willing to question things and apply logic and deductive reasoning to it as well.

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