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Month: December 2016

Yule as a Non-Event

Yule as a Non-Event

First, before I launch into my blog, I really do want to wish you all a very merry Yule.  I know I
missed Mother’s Night/Solstice, but honestly things have been a bit busy for me lately, so I apologize to my readers.  So, without further yapping about my tardiness, let’s get to the post…

It was my intent to write about Yule, the history, and the feelings one gets this time of the year.  All that went out the window when not long after hunting season ended, my husband had an operation (to repair an injury).  I was suddenly thrust into doing everything.  And I mean EVERYTHING.

Courtesy of Magickal Graphics

Life Intrudes

Before I knew it, I was taking him to physical therapy, taking care of our ancient parents by driving them to doctor’s appointments, and having all the farm chores to do.  This is above my normal work as a freelancer. So, I watched as Yule approached, unable to even get my house clean because too many other important things needed to be done.

On top of that, Skadi lived up to her promise to me.  I had gotten a buck for hunting season, but for various and sundry reasons, I failed to get my doe.  The goddess is generous and I found a freshly killed fawn just out of its spots by the side of the road, only a few hours dead and well preserved because of the negative temperatures.  As I drove the deer over to the game wardens to get my salvage tag, I reflected at how redneck I’ve become.  (Incidentally, the meat was good.)

The Solstice

So, I had a roast I had planned for Yule along with a bottle of my best mead.  I spent the  afternoon

Courtesy of Magickal Graphics

giving water to my animals in 10 degree Fahrenheit weather. I hauled wood for the night.  I finished writing blogs for a drug rehab site (stuff I get paid for), and I had to dress a deer before it got dark.

There’s something oddly primeval when you’re dressing out a deer on solstice.  Even though I didn’t kill the deer, I went ahead and apologized to it for it losing it’s life in a meaningless fashion. I thanked it and Skadi for the meat.  And I finished the work before it got dark.

Dinner ended up late but very good. I had some mead and reflected on how Yule wasn’t anything I envisioned.  I spent the day doing things for other people.  Come to think of it, that’s what I’ve been doing for the past several weeks.  Instead of focusing on myself, I’ve been focusing on others.

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve came around, and with it came a surprise kidding.  I had expected another doe goat to kid first, but while I was watering the goats, I noticed two hooves sticking out of a younger doe’s rear end.  I delivered the kid (a hard delivery) and to my chagrin, the doe had no milk.  To top it off, the kid had been so big, he had cramped up his front legs in utero and I’m working to get them stretched out so he isn’t crippled.   That makes two goat babies I have inside because the weather is so nasty.

Courtesy of Magickal Graphics

Twelve Days of Yule

At first, I blithely announced that I was damn glad Yule goes over 12 days.  Tonight, I sort of look on the whole process in despair.  Whatever I thought Yule would be just isn’t going to happen, because life just is. At the same time, in between all the craziness of life, I realize that we celebrate our family and the return of the sun. And to be honest, I’m looking forward to the increase in light.

This Yule will be memorable to me. Not because of the feasting and celebrating, but more because it is about the season and my family, more than anything else. I give thanks to the gods and wights for their help, and I look forward to a better, upcoming new year.

To all of you, I hope you had a good Mother’s Night/Solstice, Christmas, and I hope you enjoy the rest of Yule.

Coming Out as a Heathen

Coming Out as a Heathen

When I’m talking about “coming out,” I’m using the term as it relates to letting loved ones know that you’re a Heathen.  I can’t speak in terms of homosexuality because I am very heterosexual, but telling a loved one that I’m a Heathen was harder than you can ever imagine.  If you’re a closet heathen as I was, perhaps you will glean something useful about announcing to your family you are pagan.

Source: Magickal Graphics

A Little Background

Those who have read my posts know I was raised Roman Catholic.  In retrospect, I recognize that Roman Catholicism is closer to paganism than a lot of Christianity, but it isn’t heathenism by a long stretch. I even went to parochial school for a while, which in the long run made me less Christian as I started going beyond the fear of hell and damnation. Religion, in one form or another, is a method of control, in my not so humble opinion. While I am far from communist, I do think that Marx did hit it on the head that religion is an opiate of the masses.

So. with these beliefs, how could I possibly be a theist, let alone a heathen? As they say on the Facebook relationship status, “It’s complicated.” Tyr and Thor pretty much drove me back to the theist realm, even if at times I appear agnostic. 

Source: Magickal Graphics

Announcing my Heathenism

It took years for me to tell my husband I was a heathen. It was hard.  Very hard.  Even though he wasn’t surprised, he was puzzled why I didn’t tell him before.  It’s hard to express the feelings: worry that he’ll think I’m crazy, worried that he’ll find my beliefs too weird, and a concern about what happens next.  I should have spoken sooner, but I didn’t.  I told him the story and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.  I supplied my own condemnation.

In the end, his response was more wait and see.  Basically, he had no way to judge heathenism except through my behavior.  So, I relaxed a bit and decided I was far too anxious about it. I realized that being heathen hadn’t changed who I was.  I am who I am.  I still celebrate the secular version of holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving, but I can now add Yule and other holidays to the mix. I’m pretty toned down when it comes to religion, so that aspect is private. (Yeah, me.  Go figure.)

My response to those who say I’m going to be burning in their hell.

Some Practical Advice

If you’re a heathen who hasn’t told your family about your change, take a deep breath and think about it. Not everyone is going to have a open mind like my husband.  If, for example, you come from a Bible-belt family who is staunchly Christian, you’re probably not going to get much support from them by announcing you’re heathen. Only you can decide if it is the right thing to do, or whether they’ll ostracize you. I’d like to say it doesn’t happen, but obviously, it does. If you’re going to make the announcement, find someone in your family whom you can trust, who can also be sympathetic and helpful. If they have advice, listen. Maybe your older sister is good with you being pagan, but she knows darn well that your parents couldn’t deal with it. Maybe it’s not that important to tell them and estrange your family members.

If you don’t have a person in your family who wouldn’t be shocked by your change in religion and who can’t help you and give you good advice, ask yourself honestly what you hope to gain by letting your family know of your heathenism.  It sounds harsh, but you have to understand what you hope to gain by it.  Put aside the feelings of guilt that you inherited from Christianity and look logically at the best (and worst) outcomes. Will your family tell you that you are going to burn in hell for eternity and make your life hell on earth? Or are they more relaxed and open-minded?  Knowing where your loved ones stand is important when it comes to whether to tell them or not.

Be Yourself

Source: Magickal Graphics

If your family does accept your newfound faith, don’t weird them out.  Instead, be yourself as you have in the past. Maybe they’re curious as to what holidays you celebrate. Don’t put their religion down when you talk to them; instead, consider drawing the parallels between the two religions. One easy time to deal with is Yule. You can point out all the similarities of Yule and Christmas and your family will enjoy learning about Yule. You can incorporate whatever you and your family have celebrated in the past while still adding pagan twists. This isn’t a particularly dogmatic religion here.  Heathens have and do incorporate other traditions in our religion.

For example, I love Christmas carols. There’s no good reason for me to give them up.  My husband loves medieval music, so it’s no big deal for us to incorporate seasonal music with Christmas carols.  Yule and Christmas just means we have more feasts and more celebrations. I know of at least one heathen who celebrates Mother’s Night and secular Christmas. All good, in my opinion.

Being a Solitary Heathen

Telling or not telling may put you in the role of a solitary heathen. It can be lonely choosing that, but since you may be the only one in your family, whether you announce your heathenism or not, it’s pretty much the road you’re traveling. I would recommend seeking out other heathens in your community or online in order to have someone to talk to about it. There are plenty of heathens willing to talk to you and give advice. Want face-to-face time?  I run into heathens all the time at science fiction conventions. Yes, you will find heathens there as well as the various gatherings for pagans.

The main thing is to keep your perspective on things. I believe strongly that your beliefs are your own, and it is yours to share or keep as you see fit.  With the Internet comes groups of heathens who are willing to reach out to you as surely as the gods reached out to you.  It’s your choice to decide whether to tell or not tell your family and friends.  Just choose wisely.